hairbrained human and dimwitted dog [open]

[alistar jake barnes]

It was a nice evening--- perhaps five, five-thirty; that time of day that was suspended between the end of afternoon and the beginning of night. It was during this time, between the end of his shift and the beginning of his first evening beer, that Alistar liked to walk his Border collie, Ernest. The black and white dog trotted ahead of him, the fluff of tail swaying back and forth with the jog, and the leash clip jingling against his collar. To the young officer, this was just a delight. He was in jeans and a vintage t-shirt, with the hem starting to tear at the bottom, and his sneakers were incredibly comfortable after a long day in the unyielding leather dress shoes he had to wear with his cop uniform. The pair arrived at the park, which was a short way from Alistar’s house, and, seeing as there was no one else in the vicinity that Alistar could see, he unclipped Ernest’s leash and let the dog go bolting forward in a romping run. They had this pact between them: Ernest didn’t chew on the furniture while Alistar was at work, and Alistar would take Ernest out for a run after his shift.

“Alright, c’mon, mutt!” he shouted, waving the Frisbee he had brought with him. Tossing the Frisbee a few times, the pair played—Ernest would steal the Frisbee, run around in a circle, Alistar would chase after him, steal the Frisbee back, throw it, Ernest would get it… Yes, this was Alistar’s favourite time of day. The time of day when he could just be childish and no one would think anything of it because he was, you know, playing with a dog. After about twenty minutes of play, and beginning to feel tired, he took a seat on a swing and continued to let his dog run around. It was a clear night, cool, and dusk was beginning to set in. Although the sun had already set, the last, lingering light was still visible, but quickly fading.

Ernest was still romping around, digging small holes and chasing his tail. Alistar was watching, letting himself swing gently back and forth, using his foot to push him to and fro. “You almost done over there, mangy mutt?” he asked aloud—knowing the dog wouldn’t answer, but feeling the need to say it anyways. Ernest just looked up from the ground he was sniffing, barked, and went back to what he was doing. “Okay, you got five more minutes, dude,” Alistar informed him, “I need to bake my pumpkin seeds.” It was a very important thing he had to do, bake his pumpkin seeds, or else he wasn’t going to have a snack to eat during his long day of paperwork tomorrow at the office.

[daphne adelaide flynn]

outfit!

Most people did not take their cats for walks. Most cats probably didn't like being taken for walks, either, but Daphne Flynn was not a cat mind reader and could not possibly know this about her cat without doing extensive internet research or watching his reaction to having a stylish red-and-green argyle leash attached to his equally stylish argyle collar. Since there was no way that she could know that her cat did not want to leave the apartment, in which there were more than enough things to climb on, jump off, and scratch, she had taken to walking him. Sometimes, he was so confused about how much he loved it that he refused to leave the apartment and on those days, Daphne had to carry him out the door.

Today was one of those days. Speedy Gonzales had clung to her couch like he thought she was going to take him and throw him into the ocean, so once Daphne had pried him off and dragged him outside, she figured she would give him a treat and not take him around the neighborhood. She had to carry him to the car because he was still flailing and mewling and then she nearly shut the door on his nose, but soon, they were settled. He mewled as she drove until he figured out that he could scratch the upholstery of the backseat. Daphne would have told him off, but she didn't think it was worth it, especially since it was either that or his caterwauling.

Getting him out of the car was another hassle--once he started clawing things, he didn't want to stop--but she managed to drag him off and attach his leash after a couple minutes. Once on the ground, he started walking slowly, like he was stalking something, but Daphne could find no prey in the immediate vicinity. "Speedy," she said, tugging his leash. After a few more tugs, he complied and they started walking. She was glad there weren't any dogs, since that probably would have sent Speedy zooming back to her car and she wouldn't have been able to stop it. After walking for about five minutes, though, she did see a dog. Speedy stopped and narrowed his eyes.

"It's okay," Daphne said. "He's with his owner. Look!" She pointed, as though the cat were really following along with what she was saying. "See? No problem." She started to continue walking and, as they got closer to the person, she realized that he was familiar. "Alistar?" she called, despite the fact that she couldn't actually tell. She realized too late that it wasn't crowded enough to pretend she was talking to someone else, so she hoped it was him. She walked closer, both hands on the leash as she tugged at Speedy to follow her.

[alistar jake barnes]

Ernest was yapping like a snapping turtle. The short, snub little barks sounded more like squeaks than actual barks and the puppy was charging through the open fields at full speed. So fast that his ears were flopping out behind and he stumble every couple of yards over the size of his own paws. Although he was currently quite small, the size of his paws indicated that, within a few months, Ernest would not be a small puppy anymore—but quite a large dog. His glossy black and white fur gleamed over passing streetlamps. The play was quickly cut off when he noticed far-off encroachers. The puppy noticed a long time before Alistar was able to see or hear the newcomers coming. Flattening himself to the ground, Ernest began to prowl—slowly, not at all unlike a cat, slowly towards the cat.

It wasn’t until Ernest made a soft yap and began to trot towards the feline that Alistar took note of the shadowy figure and what appeared to be a small dog, and more frighteningly, Ernest beginning to charge towards them. Of course, Alistar knew his puppy wasn’t malicious, but some people got afraid of loose, stray dogs charging out of the underbrush at them. There were weird people in the world. Making a whistle and getting to his feet, Alistar made a sharp yap. Ernest stopped, tucked his tail between his legs and whirled around and came bolting back to Alistar’s side. If nothing else, Ernest was an obedient dog. Clipping on his leash, he planned to return home now that someone else was coming to the park.

Gathering up the Frisbee and his other personal items, it wasn’t until his name was actually called that he noticed the new dog walker to the park wasn’t a dog walker at all, it was in fact, his co-worker Daphne and her cat. She was a hard character to miss, after all, and an even harder character to mistake. “Oh! Hey Daphne,” he gave her a wave, “You’re out, er, walking your cat?” he asked, shrugging it off. He wasn’t surprised at all, actually. They hadn’t talked much, being in different divisions and all, but when their paths had crossed, they were equally weird with each other. Alistar was pretty sure that she was the only one in the entire office that actually kept his origami figures. Ernest sat beside him, the fluff of tail swaying to and fro as he whimpered, watching the cat intently with two different coloured eyes.

[daphne adelaide flynn]

Watching the dog run around and be happy exercising and then looking at Speedy digging his claws in the ground and trying not to move made Daphne wonder if she had perhaps chosen the wrong sort of pet. One look at his triangular face would convince her otherwise, but at the moment, she almost wished she had a pet that she could throw a frisbee to and carry a bag of toys for. The only game Speedy liked was when Daphne hid behind something and threw a piece of string around for him to chase, which was cute, but provided no exercise for Daphne.

"Hey!" she said, smiling at him. She tugged at Speedy to try and make him come closer, but the cat didn't budge and so she eventually just stopped. "Yuuup. Speedy Gonzales loves his exercise." She glanced over at him--now that she was no longer trying to force him to move, he had curled up in the grass and was batting at a beetle that had gotten to close to his claws. She turned back to Alistar, hoping he hadn't noticed this and assumed she was a bad pet owner, and widened her grin. "He's just tired right now. From all the exercise we got earlier when we walked. Today's park day, so it's a big special treat. He loves it. It's his favorite."

Park day, however, was clearly Daphne's treat to herself, but that didn't matter. She needed to change the subject before Alistar, obviously the superior pet owner, started making judgments about the merits and flaws of her being responsible for another life form. "So, you been making any cool new origami?" It was a stupid question because she frequently saw him making origami at work, but at least it would hopefully get him started talking on something nonrelated to the fact that her cat was now playing some evil game of catch and release with the beetle.

"So what's your dog's name?" she asked, gesturing toward him before she realized that this would get them back on track of how much she probably sucked. Oh well--his dog was adorable.

[alistar jake barnes]

He chuckled a little, glancing down to the cat. Ernest was sitting next to him staring at the cat and shifting his weight from paw to paw. He looked like a spring that, at any moment, could pop and go chasing after the feline. As a puppy, though, he was incredibly well-behaved and knew that Alistar would kick him in to next Tuesday if he tried to do anything. "I've been working on this really hard origami piece called the Fiddler Crab, and I've gotten really close, but haven't gotten it quite right,
he smiled--he liked folding more difficult origami at home because it worked his brain and made him think. It also made him feel good when he got an exceptionally hard origami piece.

When she started to talk about his dog, he glanced down to Ernest. Ernest was everything in a dog that Alistar could have ever hoped for. The dog was sweet, smart, and always listened. It was miraculous that someone didn't care enough to put such a sweet dog in the pound, but, their lose turned in to Alistar's gain. "This is Ernest, Ernest Hemingway," he chuckled, "I adopted him about two months ago from the shelter. You can pet him, if you'd like. He's super sweet and snuggly." In other words, he made a great makeshift girlfriend because there were no romantic possibilities anywhere in Alistar's immediate horizon.

"What's your cat's name? Speedy Gonzalas?" he laughed; he used to watch that cartoon as a kid. Squatting down, he tried to draw the at closer by tapping the grass in front of him. "I have a cat at home named Cheese. He doesn't like to walk, though. Maybe we can have a cat playdate one day!" he was sort of half joking--as he doubted Cheese would have any interest in another cat invading his personal space.

Looking up to her, he smiled, "How's work been going for you?" of all the people on the force, Daphne had always been one of his favourites. She was fun and funny, and was unique in that she earnestly cared about her job. Sometimes, Alistar considered asking for a transfer to the main branch to have someone, anyone, who didn't feel the need to complain about everything, as most of the marina cops did. Still, it was no use. Alistar was stuck in marina and he enjoyed it, he just wished he could convince Daphne to make the move.

[daphne adelaide flynn]

Anyone else might have found talking about it to be lame and boring, but Daphne was genuinely interested in Alistar's origami stories. She didn't know if it was because she was interested in origami, per se, or if it was because she knew what it was like to think things that no one else liked were fun and interesting. She smiled at his story, pleased that she could summon up a picture of a "fiddler crab" when he said it and so she didn't have to make herself look like an idiot more and ask what it was. It was authentic and without a trace of irony when she said, "That's so great! Did you name it yet or do you wait until you finish a piece?" Because there was no way anyone could have made an origami fiddler crab and not named it. That would have been ridiculous.

Daphne was all too happy to pet his dog. She loved animals, especially friendly ones like dogs, who loved you no matter what. "Hi, Ernest," she cooed, almost as if she were talking to a baby but not quite that bad. She ruffled his head and then scratched him between the ears before straightening back up and glancing down at Speedy. He was not making himself particularly pettable. He had finished torturing the beetle, but was now bathing himself, watching Ernest every so often like he wanted to go over and swat at his nose because he knew the dog could do nothing while he was leashed.

"Yup! His face is kind of sombrero-shaped," she said, bending down to point Speedy's triangular head toward Alistar. Speedy was not happy about this, but all he did was put his paw on Daphne's wrist. She let go of his face and scratched his head to appease him and it seemed to work. She stood back up and gasped with excitement. "That's a great idea! Speedy loves other cats!" This was likely as far from the truth as it could possibly be, but Daphne was determined that her beloved pet was both social and liked leaving the apartment. She was sure that he would at least enjoy having new things to scratch--but she didn't say that to Alistar.

Talking about work also made Daphne excited and she beamed. "It's great. Really great. Hugo and I arrested a group of vandals the other day. A whole group!" She decided not to mention that they had been fourteen year old boys who get let off with a warning, because that made the story decidedly less cool. "How about you? How's the beach?" She was not jealous of Alistar's job. If she'd been marina patrol, she would have jumped in the water to save someone if she had to, but she was glad that there was usually no reason for her to ever get wet while on duty.

[alistar jake barnes]

Scratching a hand through his hair and smiled a little, looking up to Daphne from where he was sitting on the bench. “I don’t know yet,” he explained, although he didn’t usually name his origami figures, but he’d play along with it as Daphne was really the only person who didn’t make fun of him for his strange hobbies. That and Teddy, but it had taken Alistar quite a long time to get Teddy to warm up to him, anyways. Chuckling a little, he shook his head and glanced down to Ernest who was now thoroughly investigating the strange person by sniffing at her shoes while still keeping a wary eye on the feline she had leashed.

When the stranger started petting him, the dog was overwhelmed and seemed pleased by the offering of pets. With a viciously wagging tail, the dog’s entire back end was swaying with excitement as he tried to read up and lick Daphne on the face, but Alistar managed to keep him down on all fours by tugging gently on the leash, “Sorry, he’s still a pup,” trying to explain the dog’s sub-par behaviour. Ernest was not a misbehaving dog, but as a young pup, he was subject to making mistakes. Once the petting had finished, the dog turned and curled up in the grass in front of Alistar’s feet. With night setting in the drop in temperature was more evident and Alistar tugged his coat closer to him.

“Fantastic, I don’t know if Cheesie likes other cats or not,” he laughed a little, shrugging indifferently, “I’m sure they’ll get along just fine,” at least he hoped they would so he didn’t have to put himself between two raging felines. They’d probably just look at eachother, sniff, and walk off the other way to sun themselves somewhere. Cheese had a thing for sunning himself. Sunning himself, at least, until Ernest would run him over. In general, with the pets of his roommates, Alistar’s home was run amuck with crazy animals running all over the place. Dogs, cats, birds—hell, he’d probably not be too surprised if he came home from work one day and find a tiger patrolling the kitchen. At very least, it wouldn’t shock him like it would most people upon finding a large, endangered feline in their home that hadn’t been there before.

“A group of vandals, huh?” giving a nod—ever since the wedding, the marina patrol had been coming up with a whole lot of nothing. Although, it was Alistar’s humble opinion that the beach was more susceptible to minor crimes like hooliganage and petty theft, it had been really quiet the past few days. Most of his time patrolling the beach the last days had been spent working on his tan and eating ice-cream from the cooler venders. He had also been pulled off a lot of his normal patrols so he could work on his accident report for the body that was found since he was, unfortunately, the first officer on the scene. Unlike most other officers, paperwork wasn’t a duty that Officer Barnes minded, afterall, it gave him time to read his horoscope online.

“Well, congrats on finding the vandals! Do you want to get promoted eventually?” He asked—he asked because he had been thinking about it a lot recently. Thinking about if he was going to be a marina patroller for the rest of his life, or if not, exactly what he was going to do. His life had felt awful stagnant these last few months and it was troublesome. “The beach has been okay,” he said thoughtfully, “Lots of paperwork and things with that body and all,” shrugging it off a bit indifferently. He wasn’t a major piece in the investigation, but he played his role.