greasing the wheels {STEVEN}

[william dane baxter]

Will was not an unfamiliar sight at the Orange Island Police Station. It wasn't that he got in a lot of trouble (well, he did but he could usually talk his way out of it) or was a career criminal. It wasn't even that his private investigator business dealt a lot with the police (he usually stole cases from them and then they ostracized him for a week or so). When your best friend was the station's accountant and your non-official partner in investigating, and more of your closest friends worked for the police, and there just so happened to be a head detective you loved winding up, you spent a lot of time down at the office searching for people.

Today Will had strode in the front doors with the intention of finding Drake for a mandatory, life-or-death food run--mostly because Drake had the money for such a run and Will was, as always, bored and starving. After having a lovely chat with Beth at the front desk, getting threatened by Anderson, and being shooed away for "five more minutes" by Drake, Will was even more bored and decided to wander down to his least favorite part of the station--the coroner's office.

After spending a short amount of time wandering around the room and playing with various, shiny instruments, Will heard footsteps behind him. He turned around wearing the mask he had found, a scalpel in one hand and a bone saw in the other. "Best hardware store ever," he told the newcomer, completely unfazed.

[alton steven scott]

Today had started out very well for Steven. He had slept well the night before and when he stopped at Bean There on his way in to work for a pastry to go with his tea, he had found out that they were selling a special a chocolate filled croissant today. He wouldn't have been himself had he not purchased a box full, also known as six, so he could eat them throughout the day and since he was himself he did, of course, buy two boxes of them. The weather coming into work had been beautiful and he had stopped at the front desk to leave one of the fancy croissants for Beth, with a note on her computer specifying it was for her and that if some one ate it before she got there that he had a second one for her locked up in his mini fridge, knowing that she would be in soon.

He went down to the lab, walked over to his office, unlocked it, stepped in, and locked the croissant boxes in his mini-fridge, pulling out two of the treats and heating up his tea in the microwave to enjoy while he did paperwork. He had a request to fill out for getting some test done on the cadaver that had come in yesterday. He also needed to verify and sign the latest autopsy report on the cadaver from the hospital at some point today. After he had finished the lab request he went out to collect samples for the lab to test.

He walked the samples and the accompanying paperwork up to the lab. When he got back he saw someone playing in his lab. Thankful he had locked his office door as well as his mini-fridge he walked up behind the guy. When the guy turned around Steven recognized the crazy PI that was friends with Drake. "The cutting implements are always fun." He nodded his head at the bone saw. "You know that at least one of those tools would be expensive to replace if you drop it right?"

[william dane baxter]

Most people would have taken the reference to price as a hint to cease their playing with said items, but Will was not Most People. Instead, he tossed the scalpel and managed to (thankfully) catch it safely again. "I know. These knife thingies are like fifty bucks a box, aren't they?" He looked at the bone saw in his hand and pressed the button, jumping a bit and laughing when its motor whirred.

"I need to borrow this around Halloween," he said, waving the saw a little bit. "I just got the best idea ever for a prank for Drake." He set both instruments down and hopped up on the examining table, nodding at Steven. "You're the new medical examiner, aren't you? Hey, I gotta ask--do you prefer coroner or medical examiner? I don't know the difference but I like coroner more. It sounds more badass."

[alton steven scott]

Thinking that he had been obviously motioning towards the bonesaw, Steven blinked in confusion. "Right. Its the scalpels that are expensive." He cringed when the bone saw came on. "Would you please put that down?"

"You should buy a fake one on Ebay." Steven realized that he would need to start locking the door to the morgue when he wasn't there to keep people from messing with his equipment. "Although Im not certain he would appreciate your prank."

"Yes I am. Although I've actually been here a while." He though for a moment to see if he actually cared what the man called him. Finding he didn't care he replied, "It doesn't matter to me which you call me. I think both are appropriate."

[william dane baxter]

Will frowned for a moment. Since when did he not know someone in the police department? No matter, it wasn't like he wanted to become a frequent visitor to the morgue. That and he was pretty sure Drake would not appreciate dead bodies. At all.

"All right, coroner it is then. Though your first name would be just as helpful," he shrugged, finding more things to play with. "Whatcha up to? Any cool deaths? What's the weirdest one you've ever seen?"

Will was bored, and when he was bored he had to find things to talk about. He momentarily wished he had a watch to see how much longer Drake would be, but that called for too much responsibility.

[alton steven scott]

"My first name is Steven." Thinking that a name might be something to get he asked, "And what is yours?"

"Well." Steven was bewildered by the man's interest in his job. Most people just got grossed out. Obviously he was dealing with a crazy man. "I do a lot of paperwork." The misconception that all a coroner did was cut up bodies was highly incorrect. "No. Death is not 'cool'. But the weirdest death I've seen? Probably the guy whose face was clawed off my a platypus. The head was bloated from the poison in its claws."

[william dane baxter]

"A platypus?!" Will exclaimed, too distracted to answer the very first question. "I didn't even know they had poison claws. I thought they just slapped their victims with that weird beaver paddle of a tail and honked at them with their duck beak."

Bored and unable to sit still for more than two seconds, Will hopped off the examining table and went to look at all the chemicals. "So can you buy all of this stuff? Out of some sort of coroner catalog? Is there a frequent buyer card? Those are really cool right now for some reason." He looked over at Steven, pointing a tongue depressor at him. "You really should stockpile your points and buy something awesome, like some super titanium head hammer."

[alton steven scott]

As the strange man showed how ignorant he was of the platypus as a creature, Steven rubbed the bridge of his nose. "That is an impossible thing. The platypus doesn't quack."

As the guy walked towards his chemicals and tools Steven wondered if the man wasn't just a child trapped in a man's body or if he perhaps had a mental disorder. "Of course it can all be bought. You just have to buy it through the companies that make the items in question." The idea that there was a club card for Medical Supplies was absurd. "No there is no card and thus no points. Anyways a titanium hammer wouldn't be of any use to me. Now what is your name?"

[william dane baxter]

"Everyone can use a titanium hammer," Will argued, growing bored once again and just wandering the room. He had expected the morgue to be more exciting than this, and was a bit disappointed. He had only been down there a few times in all the cases he had worked, and each time Drake had insisted, as usual, that they hurry up and get in and get out. This was not Will's style, but he had typically been distracted with some sort of food or other more interesting item and had happily bounded away.

Now, however, he had nothing to distract him and thus, the pacing and wandering. Finally realizing he hadn't shared his name, he stopped and flashed a grin. "Will."

He didn't find the last name necessary; surely everyone in the police department knew of his brilliance by now?

[alton steven scott]

Steven sighed in exasperation as the man started acting like a bored puppy. He was all twitchy energy and distracted focus. It was very disruptive. Steven knew that he should go back to working, he had way to much paperwork to do to spend time with random crazy people that wander down into the morgue.

Steven decided to try convincing the man to leave. "Well. I have paperwork that I should really get back to doing. I'm sure you have things that are loads more interesting to do than hang around my morgue."

(Do you want this to be the end of thread? I don't mind continuing it but Will seems to be getting bored)